What a Fool Believes

I have not posted in a while because I have been working on a couple of book projects in my spare "writing" time. I thought some of ya'll might get a kick out of this article I wrote for my church newsletter this week, though. 

I was reminded yesterday of the greatest April fool’s prank I have ever been personally involved in. It speaks volumes about my relationship with my father and my life as a preacher’s kid.

I had just recently returned from participating in the Holston Conference sponsored United Nations Seminar for youth. On this trip to Washington D.C. and New York City, I had swiftly fallen into infatuation with a girl from the Chattanooga area. I was a junior at Greeneville High at the time and did not know how well this long distance relationship would hold up. This was before internet, email, Facebook and cell phones, kids. It cost extra money to call long distance back in those dark times. (1982)

It was unusual for my father to drive me to school, but on this particular day he needed to talk to me about something important. On our way there, he explained that the Conference was projecting him to move in June. This was initially a kick to the gut, but then he said we were moving to Chattanooga. I could barely contain my excitement. My girl and I would be together after all! Dad was grinning ear to ear as he dropped me off. As I was closing the door, he said, “April fools.” He laughed at the time, but said he regretted it pretty quickly because of the look of utter dejection on my face.

When I got to Art class, I told my teacher what Dad had done. She was a member of our church and hatched a wonderful plan of retaliation. She called him at the church and told him I had gotten into a fight at school. She explained I had seemed upset all day for some reason and had finally lost my cool on a fellow student. The teacher then suggested Dad stop by her classroom before going to see me in the principal’s office. Knowing this must be his fault for upsetting me, he rushed to the school. When he entered the classroom, everyone in the room shouted “April Fool’s.” Neither of us has ever quite topped this prank.

I share this story for two reasons. First, it is a really funny story. Secondly, it is that time of year again when ministers and clergy families can be on pins and needles during the appointment process. Many may already be projected to move and have to keep it secret for now. Under the best of circumstances, moving to a new church, job, school and so on is very stressful. Keep them in your prayers. It’s no joke.

In All Things Love

Last week, the White House Press Secretary was asked to leave a restaurant in Virginia where she was dining with her family. This was a “protest” of her role in current policies. This comes on the heels of a similar incident in New York involving the Secretary of Homeland Security. I find it disingenuous that many people who applaud this incident are some of the same ones who were upset a bakery refused to make a cake for a gay couple. To me this is less a political issue and more about living in community with one another.

I think all these cases are wrong and another distressing example of incivility in our society of late. Of course, people (including business owners) have a right to their opinion, but where would this lead if everyone started basing their interactions like so? This does not seem too far from refusing service for someone based on their skin color. If someone is not causing a disruption, they should be able to conduct business where they choose. Of course, I still support the “No shoes, no shirt, no service” policy. I do not want to see your nasty feet when I am trying to eat.

A friend of mine (who self identifies as a "rightish winger) posted a report about how there has now been a backlash against the Virginia restaurant. This included a man who threw chicken poop at the establishment and another who brandished a sign saying, "Homos are full of demons" and "Unless they repent, Let God burn them." My friend's simple comment was "Seriously! Come on people. This is not how any of this is done! We are better than this."

The first Sunday after the most recent presidential election I pointed out that statistically speaking half of the people in my congregation did not vote the same. Then I asked, “Do you love them any less?” The response was a resounding “NO!” It is one thing to have convictions, but another to have them become a wedge in community and relationships.

This past weekend, Knoxville hosted a Gay Pride parade. There were several churches present passing out water. Some were there in complete support of the participants. Others were there to minister to those “sinners.” Whatever their motives, everyone acted graciously and peaceful. Regardless of where you stand on this issue, I hope you can remember to always do the same. Regardless of where you find yourself on the political spectrum, please recognize in others our common humanity. We Methodists have long lived by the maxims of "Think and let think" as well as "In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty and in all things charity (love)."

Ashes to ashes

I am haunted by the photo of distraught mothers awaiting news about their children in the wake of the recent Florida school shooting. One of the women had clearly been to an Ash Wednesday service earlier in the day as the marks are still on her forehead. As I explained to my congregants in our service, the ashes serve as two reminders for Christians. On the one hand it represents our sinfulness (and hopefully repentance) and on the other hand they symbolize our mortality. Parkland was another horrifying demonstration of the latter.   

The cycle of violence, outrage, grief, arguments, posturing, blaming and so forth with no substantial changes is mind-numbingly frustrating and heart breaking. Once again, as in so many modern debates, we have those on both ends of the political spectrum driving the conversation. On the one end, we have those who want to ban all guns versus those on the other end who believe any restrictions whatsoever are an impediment to their constitutional rights. If we could have a reasonable conversation somewhere in the middle, we might actually accomplish something. I do not consider myself a “snowflake” or a “fascist” so I decided to just start listing some things I think, know or believe about guns and violence in America to see where it led me.

Guns are powerful weapons that are useful and even fun when used properly. Guns are powerful weapons that are dangerous and frightening when not used properly (either intentionally or stupidly). Guns themselves are just "things" like rocks, hammers, knives and so forth. Any evil lies in the hands and heart of the one holding them.

I am the owner of multiple firearms and do not think a “gun ban” is the answer to our problem. If I thought turning over my weapons to authorities would lessen the possibility of more children being gunned down in school or anywhere else, I would be first in line. That is not the solution in my opinion.

I do not believe there will be or even could be a full disarming of the citizens of the United States. That would be impractical if not impossible. This is a common fear tactic that I believe is simply perpetuated to drive gun sales. Even if certain weapons were deemed illegal or restricted moving forward, there are already so many on the streets it would have minimal effect.

Once again, there is much attention on the specific rifle used in this attack. The AR-15 is not technically an “Assault Weapon” as it is only semi-automatic (fires one round with each pull of the trigger) even though it looks like a military style weapon such as an M-16. Actual assault weapons are fully automatic and what we commonly call a “Machine Gun” and civilians are not legally allowed to own them.

However, the AR-15 can be adapted to have a high capacity magazine holding up to 100 rounds without reloading (as opposed to the more common 30 rounds). The high capacity magazine is an element that makes this weapon especially deadly in a mass shooting scenario because the shooter can attack longer without pause. Surely some limits on this capability would not inhibit anyone’s rights on the gun range or the hunting grounds. Again, this is just my opinion.

There is also the “This is a mental health issue” talking point. Sure... almost by definition anyone who seeks to slaughter multiple human beings is crazy. Yes, we need more help for those with psychological problems in our country. Yet, this will still likely have little impact on the frequency of these violent incidents because we can only do so much. It is like trying to keep an eye on a severely depressed person and still being unable to prevent their eventual suicide. Still, a registration process that can flag persons who have demonstrated any instability should be a no-brainer. Having to pass a test to get a license to drive a car did not infringe on any of my inalienable rights that I know of. 

There are those who think arming teachers is the solution. This is frankly so absurd I can hardly respond to it. I have the utmost respect for teachers and the teaching profession in general, but thinking back to my school days there are definitely some that I would be terrified of having a weapon in class. We do not seem to trust them with a paddle, so why would we have them packing heat?

So where does this leave us? I believe the vast majority of Americans want children safe in school. It does not matter what “wing” you identify with. If we do not ban guns, arm teachers or effectively monitor the mentally ill what do we do? I believe the most effective solution is one of increased security. I’m saddened this is what is needed, but not nearly as sad as I am when children get massacred.

Here is my proposal. Implement the best security means possible in every single school in these United States. Metal detectors, non-invasive searches, armed trained professional security personnel, new school protocols…whatever it takes. I would further propose that the government along with the NRA help fund this effort. Put your money where your “thoughts and prayers” are. Keep your guns, make your money, but make daggum sure you do everything you can to make our kids as safe as possible.

I don’t know how much such an effort would cost, but if we take “gun ban” laws off the table, the NRA would not need to spend so much money lobbying for their sympathetic candidates. According to Fortune.com, they spent over $31 million dollars just in support of Trump over Clinton in the most recent election. That is only one presidential election and does not even count all the contributions to other members of Congress.

I know this may sound crazy, but is it any crazier than doing nothing? 

Mrs. Maples

I wrote this article a couple of weeks ago for my church newsletter, but I think the message is more universal and thought I would share it with more of ya'll:  

During a spring storm earlier this year, a maple tree I had planted about 5 years ago bent and snapped in the middle. It had grown to about 12 feet tall so I was very disappointed. My wife and I tried to fashion a splint for “Mrs. Maples” but the severed part of the branch died. I eventually chopped that section off, but I did not cut the tree down.

Now it is fall and Mrs. Maples is beginning to show her colors. An interesting thing happened during the summer. Despite her trunk being split almost to the ground, she persisted. One of the side branches also slowly began to aim itself upward to where the tree is now almost as tall as it was before the storm. I hope she makes it through the winter and emerges even stronger.

Our church has weathered some storms of late. There have been times that I wondered if it would break us. But “By God” we are still here. I mean that in the sense that the Lord is the source of our life and strength. The church is a living thing, the Body of Christ. We may lose some here and there, but God can still give the growth. He will lift us up to perhaps even greater heights. All it takes is a little nurturing, time, faith and patience. Let’s show our true colors,too.

Friends List

I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed the other night and ran across a particularly obnoxious and polarizing post from someone I scarcely know. This is a fairly regular occurrence, but the mood I was in had me thinking “enough is enough.” I resolved to not only un-friend this person, but I was also going to purge my whole friend’s list of people I might not like.

A funny thing happened as I began going over the long list of names. I was unexpectedly moved by all the people I saw there.  It ranged from very close friends I have known for decades down to some mild acquaintances.  While still not an exhaustive list, here were hundreds of names and faces of persons who have crossed my path at different times in my life. They may have been in one of the many churches I attended as a child or one of the many churches I have served as a minister. There were pals from elementary school in one town and high school in another. College classmates, co-workers and colleagues.

Our relationships ranged from intimate to casual, but we have been in each other’s lives on one level or another. The scope of seeing it all at once was what got to me I guess. I also saw people from periods of my life I thought I would never hear from again. We had grown apart, moved away or moved on. Yet, now here we are again “liking” each other’s photos and occasionally commenting on things in our respective lives.

I needed this encouragement because social media has become a divisive tool in some ways instead of one that brings people together. I saw among my male and female friends those who were young, old, conservative, liberal, Christian, Jewish, atheist, gay, straight, unsure, redneck, citified, soldiers, sailors and people of just about every shade of skin pigmentation under the sun. All these humans are my friends and it just made my heart swell a little. The sheer variety is a blessing and enriches my life.

When it came down to it, I found I did not want to “delete” anyone. This is partly because I also saw a lot of my friends on this list who have died and yet their pages remain active. It was a stark reminder that some of the schtuff we get all worked up about and let come between us will one day be less than a pile of ash. 

Peace Of My Mind

Last week I called in a prescription for a medication refill. When I went to pick it up, I was told it had been delayed. I later got an email informing me my insurance company said it was too soon for a refill. I did not understand this because I was almost out. The pharmacy said they would fill it for retail price which was significantly higher than normal. I looked at my bottle and did the math. I was supposed to have had a 90 day supply and it was only at the 60 day mark. They had shorted me a month’s worth of medication.

So I stormed out of my house at 7:30 PM ready for battle. I was going to “launch an investigation” and “change my pharmacy immediately" for the “obvious incompetence if not fraud” that was clearly at play! When I got there, the young lady listened carefully to my questions and concerns and then apologized for their mistake and gave me the other month's worth. I was satisfied and that was the end of that. All was forgiven and grace abounded.

I am not saying I am perfect or never hold a grudge. But you probably know people for whom that would not have been the end of that. Once they get wound up, it does not matter what is said or done. They came for a fight and will not be satisfied until they have one. Then even after that, they may also continue to harbor ill will. This must be a hard way to live. I once had a lady misunderstand something I said from the pulpit. Even when I explained that I had actually said the opposite, she was never the same toward me. She literally went to her grave with hard feelings about something I did not even say. 

I have shared that I can have a quick temper, but I am usually quite ready to give up my anger. I do not like it. I certainly do not want to keep a pot simmering just ready to boil over all the time. There is a familiar quote that speaks truth to this: “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” We are all human and I understand how easy it is to carry resentment when you have been wronged, but Jesus knows how that can also eat away at our souls. At my church, we say it every week so we should live the words, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” All things considered, I would always rather have peace of mind than give someone a piece of my mind. 

A Cloudy Day

I am feeling down this morning. I cannot put my finger on why. It's nothing and it's everything. When you are blue, it colors the world and all that's in it. Instead of just one thing, it is probably cumulative. It is likely a combination of things happening in my life and in other's. I lament teenagers dying in car accidents, friends who are hurting, the oppressive heat, growing older and watching the news just to name a few. 

I am not worried, though, because I know I will bounce back. I am fortunate my feelings are not clinical depression. I am just in a funk. I am melancholy. I recognize it when it happens and it just has to run its course. I usually try to stay away from other people when a dark cloud descends and just wallow in it until it passes. I also do this to avoid admonitions to "cheer up."

While I do not suffer from depression, many do. We do not like to talk about it. There is still a stigma to it and people can act like depression is contagious. Yes, being around someone who is sad can affect your mood, too, but you are not going to contract actual depression from them.

The church can sometimes be the absolute worst place for those suffering from it. This is because Christians often try to heal depressed people with platitudes. “Snap out of it.” “Count your blessings.” “What do you have to be sad about?” “There are always others worse off than you.” The one that gets under my skin the most is “I am too blessed to be stressed/depressed.” That is a smug, dismissive and callous thing to say to someone with anxiety or depression. You would not say to a cancer patient, “I am too healthy to have a tumor.”

It is not your job or even within your power to heal them. In fact, just about anything you might think of to “fix” them will likely come across as critical or condescending.  We sure do not need to tell people they just “need Jesus” or should read the Bible as some kind of heal-all. The Word does contain some wisdom and support and hope, but not easy answers as such.

To imply someone with depression just needs more faith does more harm than good. Instead, you should practice the art of just being there. Truly listen instead of thinking of the next thing to say. Let them know they are not alone. Offer to take care of small tasks that may seem gargantuan to someone who is depressed. Encourage them to explore treatment and be sincerely supportive of this. These are blessings that will not make depression go away, but may help make the journey more bearable.